This will most probably be very controversial. Here goes.

Ladies take advice from a 51 year old grumpy military veteran with a dad bod.

Us guys don’t work on hints.

If you want us to do something ask us directly. e.g. The bedroom needs to be painted.

This is the way to go “Darling/Dear or any term of endearment. I would like to paint the bedroom can you please help me with it this weekend?” Not “Don’t you think that the bedroom needs a new coat of paint?” or any variation thereof. We will look at the bedroom and see that the paint is still fine i.e. not peeling and ignore the statement.

If you are upset/angry with us don’t give us the silent treatment tell us what is bugging you or what we did to upset you. And we will try to fix it.

We are not mind readers or carry crystal balls in our back pockets.

We will love you no matter what don’t ask us does this dress/denim make me look fat we will always say no.

On that topic we are not romantically inclined and we cannot love you the way you want to be loved. We will love you the way we can. Our generic go to are chocolate and flowers. If you want us to love you the way you want to be loved tell us, and keep telling us till we get it right. See crystal ball statement.

When you had a bad day at work and you want to vent. Our first instinct is to fix it i.e. to give advice. Say to us just listen I don’t need advice right now or I’ll come to you if I need help.

We are simple in our demands.

We sometimes also would like to be the small spoon.

Let us figure out DIY stuff on our own. We will get someone to help if we cannot get it sorted.

When you ask us what we are thinking. It is nothing or it’s something so stupid that we are ashamed to say.

We worry about a lot of things that we don’t want to share with you. It’s not that we are ashamed it’s just that we don’t want to bother you with stuff that we have to deal with.

When the dark dog comes barking sit with us and keep us company, sometimes we need a good cry too. Because of the things we saw, or had to do when there was no other way out. We will never show you the darkness that we keep hidden because you are that one place where we can find peace, love and happiness and we do not want to ruin that.

We are scared that we are not good enough, providing enough. Just tell us randomly that we are doing a good job. You’ll be amazed at the effect it will have.

Getting us to talk about what is bothering us is like trying to tame a tornado. Just let us know you are here for us and just sit with us. We will open up once we are ready.

We are like little boys with big dreams and hopes. A careless word can hurt a lot break our spirit and make us stop dreaming. Laugh with us not at us.

In short talk to us, some of us are not good at starting a conversation. Conversation is a 2 way street. Sometimes you will have to pull us out of our shells.

We do love you.

We try to be tough. You’ll be amazed how many guys cry in their cars while driving home because we are scared of not being good enough at not loving you right, of losing you, of failing as a husband/father.

We have feelings too, when we share with you what is bothering us, it means we are comfortable and trust you. Please do not turn around and accuse us of being selfish or making it about us we will stop sharing and keep it bottled in.

Ladies. You will be amazed at how much physical touch actually means to us. How much it means when you initiate that hug, hand holding and even the hand on the leg when we are driving somewhere. Just coming to sit on our laps and hugging us,